What Is It About Spiders?

I'm not good with spiders.
Especially big spiders.
The only thing that has made spiders vaguely tolerable for me has been exposure to cockroaches. Now that is something I can't handle. Ever. Especially those giant mutant ones that fly at you. Ugh. I could never, ever live in Texas.

I have had the cockroach sighting experience in my lifetime. I'm done with that, I hope. The experience left me slightly more able to handle spiders. At least they aren't roaches.

I've seen the occasional black widow right on our front step. I squashed it. For a poisonous thing they aren't so menacing. However, California does have its share of hideous looking and large spiders. Hairy large spiders with big beady eyes and visible mouths. I know, I know, spiders are good. They eat the bad things. But the bad things aren't...hairy.

So there I was, innocently walking into the bathroom, when I saw it.
I had to stare at it for a while to make sure it was real. I was thinking " No, that can't possibly be a giant spider. Thats a ...um... big piece of hair, or..um.. some wet dryer lint with eyes.. oh my GOD, its alive. Oh god help me, what should I do?"

I looked around to see what sort of spider killing aresonal I had at my disposal. Not a whole lot. I weighed my options.

Option 1:
Use the closest thing to me and try to drown it.
Pro: Anything will drown in enough shampoo
Con: Spider could outrun me and attack prior to drowning. Or worse, spider could outrun me and vanish. They can do that.


Option 2:
Run to the kitchen, arm myself with an array of quasi green household cleaners and residue eliminators, run back to the bathroom, and spray the spider with an assortment of non toxic chemicals.
Pro: Optimum control over stream of chemical output leads to better chances of actual drowning.
Con: Spider could disappear while I am arming myself.

I chose Option 2. Yes, the spider could disappear while I was arming myself, but the chances of killing via green bathroom cleaner product remained higher when I factored in the greater nozzle control.

The spider did not vanish while I was arming myself. I shuddered and gagged a little as I moved closer. He glowered at me. His hackles were up. I think he had leg hackles. His furry back hair grew furrier. Ugh. I aimed. I sprayed. He jumped and ran.
Ack! Disgusting! He is coming towards me. Aim..SPRAY! Aim...SPRAY! He shuddered and his furry leg hair clung to his legs. Chills of revulsion shot through my body. I sprayed more. He made a final lunge in my direction before surrendering to green solvent death. A few of his legs remained in the air.

I felt sickened and could not bring myself to clean the carcass. Not right away. I let the residual solvents flow down the drain. Damn, that was a big spider.

I vacuumed the carcass out of the tub. I'm not touching that.