My 8 year old is a great eater. He always has been. His diet is varied and his palate is sophisticated. Thats not to say he doesn't enjoy junk food as much as the next 2nd grader, but overall he is both well rounded and open minded.
Unfortunately these qualities are not a result of my fantastic parenting abilities, as illustrated by my subsequent children.
Oliver prefers peanut butter for lunch and cereal for breakfast. Each new bowl must be in a clean bowl. There is no such thing as a second helping in the same cereal bowl. That cereal is tainted. Sometimes we make the resolve and we face this battle.
No! You only get one bowl!
We valiantly stick with our assertion. The problem is Oliver has great stamina for holding a piercing shriek at the most shrill decibel. If that fails to change our minds about the bowl situation then drastic measures begin. Cups of milk are toppled, siblings bear the brunt of his wrath. I think the character of the Incredible Hulk was based on Oliver. He is the sweetest boy on the planet, but oh you do not want to be around when he turns green and his clothes shred.
So Oliver has cereal in 400 bowls, then he eats peanut butter for lunch. He eats other things with his peanut butter, like raw carrots and 400 mandarin oranges, but he must have peanut butter. He would rather starve than eat a different type of sandwich so in the end I relent. I don't relent because I figure oh well, it can't be that bad for him. I relent because I'm so tired of having a full lunchbox come home full of warm and wasted food. I relent because of the time it took for me to pack that lunch that came home warm and untouched.
Then there is Griffin. He will try something. Usually. If he sees Holden eating it.
Then there is Laurel who drinks milk. Lots of milk. So much milk that I make her eat before she gets milk. Sometimes she'd rather have nothing at all than have to have one bite.
Holden explains that food is good for you and if she wants to grow up and be tall like him she should eat.
She thinks its OK to drink milk and be short.
She points out that she does eat cookies. I point out that cookies are a treat, they are not good for you. Cookies do not help you grow.
" Oh, like vegetables make you grow?"
" Yes!" I'm delighted that she has figured this out. I see the glimmer of light on the horizon.
" Of course, I don't eat my vegetables." She points out.
" You need to eat to grow and be healthy."
" I like chocolate". Laurel reasons.
" No, chocolate does not help you grow."
" It makes you shrink?"
" No."
Despite having had variations of this conversation over and over and over again Laurel remains convinced that some foods make you grow while others make you shrink.
We can't get rid of her squeaky cat shoes because when she shrinks to a baby they will fit her again.
OK, well, good luck with that.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Lost Hamburger
Sometimes its just really hard to fit everything into the day. Tuesdays always have extra challenges. As soon as Oliver is home we have to leave to pick up the twins early so we can get Holden and bring him to swimming. After swimming we have to get to Oliver's appointment and then drive home at rush hour when all the kids are starving and I have to miraculously get dinner on the table in 2 seconds flat.
Sometimes I am very organized. Sometimes I have soup simmering on the stove all day. Sometimes I brown some chicken then transfer it to a crock pot and let it slow cook all day with some veggies. Sometimes I wish I had done those things.
Yesterday was one of those days. I had no plans for dinner. The electrician had arrived early to fix the bathroom light, which incidentally could not be fixed because the problem was the age of the fixture itself. I ran to Home Depot and another hardware store and Restoration Hardware where I learned that light fixtures are more expensive than I'd imagined. What I did not do was think about dinner.
Oliver came home and we immediately left to pick up Griffin and Laurel. It was pouring. It was thundering. There was lightening. Oliver does not wear coats. Once at preschool I zipped and snapped everyone into their coats and shooed them towards the door. Just as we were about to leave the building the sky grew dark and ominous and it began to hail. The wind was strong and we huddled by the door.
" Its hail! Look!" I explained. I held some in my hand. Oliver and Griffin ate it. When it seemed as though it wasn't going to let up I knew we had to make a dash for it because otherwise we'd be late to pick up Holden. We made our way down the now slippery steps, the children protesting in bewilderment. I opened the doors to the car and everyone's seat got wet, but in the two seconds it took to get to the car we were all soaked anyway. Especially Oliver who refused to wear a raincoat even though it was hailing.
I decided Holden would not be swimming today. We were late picking him up. I asked if he'd seen the hail. Even though he was standing outside waiting for us he somehow had not seen the hail and was gravely disappointed. Fortunately as we arrived home Griffin noticed residual balls of hail against our fence. Holden was relieved that he was able to see hail.
I gave them a snack and forced homework to happen and then it was time to leave for Oliver's appointment. Once again the sky was dark and the rain was heavy. As I pulled out of the driveway the gas light came on because the gas light always comes on in a storm.
I drove to the nearest gas station. The car in front of me pulled in too. But he pulled in to the closest pump and stopped so I was trapped. I shot him a withering glare. As I pulled around him I realized that the pump ahead of him was broken and that is why he'd stopped. I backed in to the pump parallel to the man.
He came over and said:
" I guess you thought I was a mean guy".
" Yes, I did. Sorry I glared".
" Yeah, I saw your face when I stopped."
" Oh I wasn't sure if you had. Its hard to tell if someone can see a glare when its so dark and rainy".
" Ooooh, I caught that look."
Finally we were on our way. Griffin fell asleep. I dropped off Oliver and we waited in the car for 40 minutes. At that point I decided that although I am not a fan of fast food, tonight would be a very good night for it.
" I was thinking about getting you guys something very unhealthy for dinner. Whats the most unhealthy thing you can think of?"
Holden's face lit up and his eyes filled with joy. " McDonalds?" He asked quietly, not sure if he could dare to hope for something so wonderful.
" Yes".
Cheers erupted.
When Oliver came out I told him about our plan and told everyone we'd be eating this fabulous feast in the car because it was going to take a while to get home due to the rain and rush hour traffic.
I ordered 4 happy meals and I pulled over right away to get everyone all set up and then we were on our way.
Half way home Laurel lost her hamburger while she was eating it. I don't know how someone can lose a hamburger, especially when you are in the middle of eating it. But that is what happened. When we got home I turned on the lights and we searched for her hamburger which we could not find. The hamburger I still have not found. We gave up and we all trudged our wet muddy selves into the house.
Wednesday mornings are hard. Oliver has to be ready by 8. The others need to be at school by 8:30. I packed the lunches. It was still pouring. My neighbor called and offered to take Holden to school.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Since the pressure was off a little I reduced my pace from frantic to kinda quick. I got Laurel and Griffin into their rain gear. We went out to the car. The door wouldn't open. I know what that means. The electric doors don't work when the battery is dead. I had left the light on during the hamburger search.
So in the pouring rain I called AAA and they sent someone out to jump the car. I had to have the car jumped because of a lost hamburger. The hamburger that was supposed to make my life easier.
Sometimes I am very organized. Sometimes I have soup simmering on the stove all day. Sometimes I brown some chicken then transfer it to a crock pot and let it slow cook all day with some veggies. Sometimes I wish I had done those things.
Yesterday was one of those days. I had no plans for dinner. The electrician had arrived early to fix the bathroom light, which incidentally could not be fixed because the problem was the age of the fixture itself. I ran to Home Depot and another hardware store and Restoration Hardware where I learned that light fixtures are more expensive than I'd imagined. What I did not do was think about dinner.
Oliver came home and we immediately left to pick up Griffin and Laurel. It was pouring. It was thundering. There was lightening. Oliver does not wear coats. Once at preschool I zipped and snapped everyone into their coats and shooed them towards the door. Just as we were about to leave the building the sky grew dark and ominous and it began to hail. The wind was strong and we huddled by the door.
" Its hail! Look!" I explained. I held some in my hand. Oliver and Griffin ate it. When it seemed as though it wasn't going to let up I knew we had to make a dash for it because otherwise we'd be late to pick up Holden. We made our way down the now slippery steps, the children protesting in bewilderment. I opened the doors to the car and everyone's seat got wet, but in the two seconds it took to get to the car we were all soaked anyway. Especially Oliver who refused to wear a raincoat even though it was hailing.
I decided Holden would not be swimming today. We were late picking him up. I asked if he'd seen the hail. Even though he was standing outside waiting for us he somehow had not seen the hail and was gravely disappointed. Fortunately as we arrived home Griffin noticed residual balls of hail against our fence. Holden was relieved that he was able to see hail.
I gave them a snack and forced homework to happen and then it was time to leave for Oliver's appointment. Once again the sky was dark and the rain was heavy. As I pulled out of the driveway the gas light came on because the gas light always comes on in a storm.
I drove to the nearest gas station. The car in front of me pulled in too. But he pulled in to the closest pump and stopped so I was trapped. I shot him a withering glare. As I pulled around him I realized that the pump ahead of him was broken and that is why he'd stopped. I backed in to the pump parallel to the man.
He came over and said:
" I guess you thought I was a mean guy".
" Yes, I did. Sorry I glared".
" Yeah, I saw your face when I stopped."
" Oh I wasn't sure if you had. Its hard to tell if someone can see a glare when its so dark and rainy".
" Ooooh, I caught that look."
Finally we were on our way. Griffin fell asleep. I dropped off Oliver and we waited in the car for 40 minutes. At that point I decided that although I am not a fan of fast food, tonight would be a very good night for it.
" I was thinking about getting you guys something very unhealthy for dinner. Whats the most unhealthy thing you can think of?"
Holden's face lit up and his eyes filled with joy. " McDonalds?" He asked quietly, not sure if he could dare to hope for something so wonderful.
" Yes".
Cheers erupted.
When Oliver came out I told him about our plan and told everyone we'd be eating this fabulous feast in the car because it was going to take a while to get home due to the rain and rush hour traffic.
I ordered 4 happy meals and I pulled over right away to get everyone all set up and then we were on our way.
Half way home Laurel lost her hamburger while she was eating it. I don't know how someone can lose a hamburger, especially when you are in the middle of eating it. But that is what happened. When we got home I turned on the lights and we searched for her hamburger which we could not find. The hamburger I still have not found. We gave up and we all trudged our wet muddy selves into the house.
Wednesday mornings are hard. Oliver has to be ready by 8. The others need to be at school by 8:30. I packed the lunches. It was still pouring. My neighbor called and offered to take Holden to school.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Since the pressure was off a little I reduced my pace from frantic to kinda quick. I got Laurel and Griffin into their rain gear. We went out to the car. The door wouldn't open. I know what that means. The electric doors don't work when the battery is dead. I had left the light on during the hamburger search.
So in the pouring rain I called AAA and they sent someone out to jump the car. I had to have the car jumped because of a lost hamburger. The hamburger that was supposed to make my life easier.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A Job For Daddy
I take my boy seriously. He knows when things have gone awry.
A few months back he came into our bedroom early in the morning. He announced that a crazy octopus was in the sink. While many parents might think " oh, silly 3 year old", or maybe " how endearing!" I know better.
I told Jeff to go check it out. I thought maybe there was a silverfish in there. Or maybe, gulp, a roach. Little did I know....
There was not a silverfish in the sink. There were no roaches in the sink. What was in the sink was far worse. I am so glad I sent Jeff in there. A potato bug was making its way out of the drain. Some people may not know what a potato bug is and perhaps may even entertain the erroneous thought that it couldn't be worse than a cockroach. But oh how wrong they would be. A potato bug screams if you try to off it. A potato bug is the size of a giant mutant cricket with the head of a fetus. Believe me, you do not want a potato bug creeping out of your drain.
I did not even see this particular potato bug, but for weeks afterwords I made sure I had a cat with me in the bathroom. I was not going in there alone and unarmed.
Fast forward to this morning.
Griffin comes into our room at about 5:30 am.
" Mommy?"
" Yes?"
" There is dirt on my bed".
" Um, what kind of dirt?"
" Squishy dirt".
Clearly this is a job for Daddy.
A few months back he came into our bedroom early in the morning. He announced that a crazy octopus was in the sink. While many parents might think " oh, silly 3 year old", or maybe " how endearing!" I know better.
I told Jeff to go check it out. I thought maybe there was a silverfish in there. Or maybe, gulp, a roach. Little did I know....
There was not a silverfish in the sink. There were no roaches in the sink. What was in the sink was far worse. I am so glad I sent Jeff in there. A potato bug was making its way out of the drain. Some people may not know what a potato bug is and perhaps may even entertain the erroneous thought that it couldn't be worse than a cockroach. But oh how wrong they would be. A potato bug screams if you try to off it. A potato bug is the size of a giant mutant cricket with the head of a fetus. Believe me, you do not want a potato bug creeping out of your drain.
I did not even see this particular potato bug, but for weeks afterwords I made sure I had a cat with me in the bathroom. I was not going in there alone and unarmed.
Fast forward to this morning.
Griffin comes into our room at about 5:30 am.
" Mommy?"
" Yes?"
" There is dirt on my bed".
" Um, what kind of dirt?"
" Squishy dirt".
Clearly this is a job for Daddy.
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