Looking Forward to Anesthesia

I'm having surgery tomorrow. I have to leave the house around 5:15 am. My plan was to get the house organized, dishes done, laundry done and put away, general organization. My plan was of course thwarted. Repeatedly.
I couldn't finish doing or putting away laundry this morning because Griffin wouldn't nap. He preferred to flail around moaning and whining and opening cabinets and making piles of clothing and toys. He fell asleep right before Oliver's bus arrived, at which point I needed to wake him to get Holden. Everyone needed to poop and lose their shoes and have misgivings about their final shoe choices, but eventually we were on our way and we retrieved Holden...late.
Then we came home and had a snack which included letter crackers. So everyone fought over which letter they had.
After Laurel spilled her milk, which she does at every meal, I set them free and put on Grammar Rock, even though Oliver is the only one that really likes it. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Then I thought I'd make dinner.
So I chopped and prepared while Laurel wedged herself under my bed in hot pursuit of a cat. Laurel got another scratch. People say kids learn from stuff like that, but she doesn't. She screamed and yelled and needed her night night ( pacifier) and her dolly ( lump of dirty rag vaguely resembling a doll). Two minutes later she was fine and back to chasing the cat.
I went back to preparing dinner. Suddenly I realized it was quiet. Very very quiet for a house with four kids.

Holden? Can you give me an update on everyone?

OK. Whats an update?

Its when you tell me what everyone is doing.

OK. [silence]

Oh um.. they are all in the bathroom playing with toothpaste and Oliver is pooping.

Can you take the toothpaste away from them?

Yes! [ what 6 year old doesn't love a power trip?]

Blood curdling screech. I guess I better see for myself.
Toothpaste everywhere. Several tubes of it. Smeared on the wall, floor, each other. No wonder it was quiet. Oliver was in a state of distress because he had used the last of the toilet paper and clearly had needed more. So Oliver needed a bath. Right away.

So I filled the tub for the boy that hates to bathe. I squirted some shampoo into the tub to make bubbles. He was intrigued by this idea. He wanted to squirt some in. So he did. I scrubbed him down and then he was ready for pajamas. Rocket ship pajamas. Fortunately rocket ship pajamas were clean.

Laurel saw that Oliver had pajamas so she needed pajamas. RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND. So she got pajamas.

I checked on dinner. Not done.

I went to set the table and found that Griffin had discovered a tub of applesauce from someones lunchbox and had helped himself. Oh good, a little extra cleaning before dinner.

I went to give a quick second glance to the bathroom, to make sure I hadn't missed any toothpaste or poop. Paddington had peed on the bathmat. Oh good. More laundry.

Dinner was ready so I called everyone to the table. Oliver glanced at it with disdain. Thats not pasta or hot dogs. Conclusion: inedible. Unfortunately he wasn't too far off. It was good, if you are an adult and like spicy foods, but I'd made it too spicy for the kids. Apple sauce and yogurt for dinner. Glad I went to the effort. Ugh.

After the failed dinner I tried to keep going with the laundry. I attempted to put away more clothing, fold some sheets.

MOMMMYYY ACK! HELP! MOOMMMMMMYYYY OHHH NOOOO ACCCCKKKKKKK!

Laurel was having some sort of crisis.

what Laurel? I managed to ask disinterestedly.

MOMMMMMY HELP ACK MOMMMMY ARGH MOMMMMY

O..M...G...
Globs of poop on her toe, on her hand, on her face. Um.. what happened?

Holden knew what happened. Laurel had chased Paddington when he was in his litter box. So he'd run out mid poop, and in her exuberance and glee she had run right through the lumps of wet poop he'd left in his frightened wake.

So I ran another bath, and scrubbed down another stinky kid ,and put in another load of stinky laundry.

Then I brushed their teeth and put them in bed.

Now I can look forward to my relaxing evening of packing school lunches and finishing 10,000 loads of laundry.

I am so looking forward to that anesthesia.